Just my type…

Good looking. Charming. Charismatic. Smart. Self-important. Egocentric. Stubborn AF. Gas-lighter. Opaque. Ultimately unavailable.

Hot right? I know. And it’s only taken me — ahem, 15 years — to realize this but, I definitely have “a type”. I used to think it was just a physical type that I had because, well, that’s easy to spot. But as the people who love me most in this world have pointed out (rather effortlessly as it turns out) it’s totally a personality thing too. And you know, they’re not wrong. Even when I think I’m trying something new or am consciously changing directions — apparently, I’m not.

I think that where I get stuck is that it’s those very same qualities that attract me to a man in the first place. I want a man who takes up space in a room. A capable man who takes what he wants because he wants it, and doesn’t concern himself with asking permission. Who knows how use his wit and smile as equally cunningly as confidently. Unfortunately though, with that often comes the rest.

And therein lies the problem.

And if I reeallly want to get into it and get down to the truth of things — I’ve realized that the very qualities I’m attracted to most in these types are the ones I probably need to harness more of myself. As a recent tweet on my timeline just professed: “you’re bound to get heartbroken when you look for yourself in other people.” But that’s a whole other post. (Gotta love that twisdom.)

I suppose the good news is we’ve identified the issue. Or, issues, I should say. But, better than late than never, right?